Back to Issue 3 | More 101 Lists

1. Start your own pointless fanzine 2. Insert “fucking” into the middle of all two-word phrases e.g. “Eggs fucking Benedict!!!” 3. Swear off all intoxicating substances 4. or do all of ‘em in excessive proportions 5. Ridicule those more well-liked than you 6. Replace your wallet chain with a rediculously large and heavy one 7. Share the mic S. Hang out with airhead Marylin Manson chicks 9. Constantly mope about how you wish it was 1976 10. Wear the same beat-up Dead Kennedys t-shirt over and over and over... 11. Pierce all pierceable body pans 12. Twice 13. Waste huge amounts of paper on flyes and underground publications 14. Dis Hank 15 Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch 16. Convert your entire record collection to vinyl 17. Bleach your hair dayglow blond 18. Hate everything and everyone but respect it anyways 19. Cover any classic rock standard in three chords or less 20. Revive ska 21. Fuck an “ism” 22. Learn how to jump in the air and play at the same time 23. Declare your hatred of conformity, then get a Marine-style crew cut 24. Pursue an advanced degree in something 25. Move into an abandoned building 26. One word: OI! 27. OD on heroin 28. Go out of your way to piss people off, then expect them to respect you 29. Hare Krishna 30. Burn a flag! Bum one NOW NOW NOW! 31. Alter your clothing with spray paint or magic marker 32. Live at peace with all animal life 33. or wear lotsa leather 34. Raise havoc somewhere 35. Shave odd bits of your head, leave hair on the rest 36. Beat up Jello Biafra (again) 37. Grab a chilled 40 and hang 38. Subscribe to Maximum Rock N’ Roll, when they don’t send it to you buy it at the newsstand anyways (again) 39. Go Jewish Orthodox 40. Ridicule goths 41. Take on a wacky pseudonym 42. Do it for the money 43. Deface federal property (like $1 bills) 44. Stop “moshing,” start “dancing” 45. Take something, shave your head, spend the rest of the day asking who gave you the new haircut (again) 46. Masturbate 47. More 48. Then write songs about it 49. Skank yer ass off 50. Pull all the really cheezy records out of the used vinyl at Discovery and decorate your set with them (again) 51. Start your own “scene” 52. Make a scene 53. Hate cops 54. Sing along in German even though you don’t speak it 55. Become a really good bass player 56. Never buy food anywhere...but MIGHTY TACO 56. Get out of Buffalo 57. Keep your Mohawk up at church 58. Do it for the cause 59. Speak with a cheesy brougish Cockney accent 60. Beat up Queers (or play in them) 61. Pick fights with anyone 62. and everyone 63. Spit on someone then tell him you love ‘em 64. Dis your heritage 65. Change your name to Billy Joe 66. or Billie Joe 67. Drive a Rabbit 68. Tattoo every square inch of your body 69. Do it 70. again 71. motherfucker 72. Rip your clothes apart then safety pin ‘em back together 73 Insist people call you Mr. before your first name 74. Wear a backpack—over both shoulders 75. Buy pants three sizes too big and rip the bottoms off 76. Vans Vans Vans 77. Be no more than a faded sticker on a skateboard 78. We’re out of. FUCK YOU! (That’s punk)