101 Ways To KILL A HIPPIE!

1. Take away wool socks in winter, Watch freeze toes off in Birkenstocks 2. Shoot in the fucking head 3. Replace pechoulie with sulfuric acid (burning flesh smells better anyway) 4. Shoot in the fucking head 5. Run over with VW microbus 6. Shoot in the fucking head 7. Replace pot stash with dried poison ivy 8. Shoot in the fucking head 9. Napalm Phish concert 10. Shoot in the fucking head 11. Replace acid tab with pure cyanide (but imagine the visuals...) 12. Shoot in the fucking head 13. Paint favorite hugging tree with super glue 14. Shoot in the fucking head 15. Place burning incense a little too close to tie-dyed tapestry 16. Shoot in the fucking head 17. Replace beaded curtains with razor wire 18. Shoot in the fucking head 19. Replace tube in black light with plutonium rod 20. Shoot in the fucking head 21. Talk into trying hemp toilet paper (death by anal hemorrhage) 22. Shoot in the fucking head 23. Tie-dye a Skrewdriver T-shirt, send to a skinhead club 24. Shoot in the fucking head 25. Say you saw Jerry... in south central L.A. 26. Shoot in the fucking head 27. Fill the peace pipe with monkey shit (ebola infested monkey shit!) 28. Shoot in the fucking head 29. Convince while stoned that the only way to 'truly" tie-dye is with own blood (amend or embellish at will) 30. Shoot in the fucking head 31. Advertise the fact that you are starting a self-contained utopia in this quaint little place in Pennsylvania called Three Mile Island 32. Shoot in the fucking head 33. Start manufacturing metal rimmed frisbees with razor-sharp edges 34. Shoot in the fucking head 35. Convince that you completely re-decked the transmission in your car and filled it with weed, so all said hippie has to do to achieve the ultimate high is to suck on the tail pipe (Think about it--the ultimate bong!) 36. Shoot in the fucking head 37. Get Rollins a side job at New Age Creations 38. Shoot in the fucking head 39. Go into vegan restaurant covered in ground beef. Death by shock! 40 Shoot in the motherfucking head 41. Chase with a pack of Irish Spring. 42. Shoot in the fucking head 43. Acid trip on the 23rd floor 44. Shoot in the fucking head 45. Convince that own head would make the coolest bong 46. Shoot in the fucking head 47. Attach hooks to escalator (sucked in by bell-bottoms or stupid patchwork clothing) 48. Shoot in the fucking head 49. Tie up, send to Bosnia, tell there s a hunting protest going on 50. Shoot in the fucking head 51. Drop in the middle of a Slayer show 52. Shoot in the fucking head. 53. Inform of peaceful protest against local ned-Nazi group. 54 Shoot in the fucking head. 55. Electrify acoustic guitar, with 40,000 volts 56. Shoot in the fucking head 57. Killer squirrels!!!!!!! 58. Shoot in the fucking head 59. Replace dancing bears with grizzly bear 60. Shoot in the fucking head 61. Leave salmonella-infested pizza in fridge right before big pot party 62. SHOOT IN THE FUCKING HEAD 63. Fill flowers with powdered lye 64. Shoot in the fucking head 65. Wrap in flag, light, place in front of American Legion hall 66. Shoot in the fucking head 67. Stick grip tape to inside surface of Birkenstocks 68. Shoot in the fucking head 69. Anti-war protest in northern Iraq 70. Shoot in the fucking head 71. Kill Jerry--again! 72. No, fuck that, kill all the rest of the Dead and laugh at the mass suicide following 73. Shoot in the fucking head 74. While you're at it, kill Phish. 75. Shoot in the fucking head 76. Dress up as a giant red dancing bear with outstretched arms pretending you love everyone. Only difference is that when you hug a hippie you break all his/her ribs 77. Shoot in the fucking head 78. Advertise that you do free body piercing, but clients must be put under anasthesia, heh heh heh heh 79. Shoot in the fucking head 80. Turn back the clock to '69 and send 'em all to 'Nam 81. Shoot in the fucking head 82. Take on a "nature walk" in an alligator infested swamp 83. Shoot in the fucking head 84. Take away music 85. Take away drugs 86. Shoot in the fucking head. 87. Give your own private screening of "Dazed and Confused" or "Stoned Age." In an underground cave Then start an avalanche 88. Shoot in the fucking head 89. Play silly hippie music, wait for subject to enter into trance-like dance, then have your way with them 90. Shoot in the fucking head 91. Throw into jaccuzi, let hair get caught in intake jet, death by drowning 92. Shoot in the motherfucking head, do it now, mo'fo! 93. Give sample of your recipe for gravel granola 94. Shoot in the fucking head 95. Destroy Pacific Northwest 96. Shoot in the fucking head 97. Re-animate Timothy Leary into your zombie slave 98. Shoot in the fucking head 99. Free love in Haiti 100. Did we mention a bullet to the fucking head? 101. Give a copy of NIMBY